My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's official drugs can't kill me
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
