I just cut my nipple shaving
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
