Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
