Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
