I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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