even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
