yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
