Where did you get a picture of my penis
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
