So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
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