There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
