She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
