maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
