I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
