hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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