I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
