you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
