You really coming over, don't trick.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
