Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
