Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
