I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
