he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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