Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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