babies were throwing up all over the place
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
