you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
