I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
