Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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