if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize