just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
