we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
