Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
