just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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