I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
