No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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