I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
