Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
ttyl tear gas
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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