i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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