Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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