yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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