in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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