im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
