i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
