when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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