Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
he fucked my hip out of place.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
