i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
