are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
