you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
