I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
