so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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