i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
