I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Drunk is a universal language darling
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
