We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
