How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize